The Waiting Season

Waiting on intervention or provision from God can sometimes seem like fishing in a sole, small pond of a vast unending desert – heartbreakingly desperate, unbelievably necessary, and highly unlikely to succeed.

Yet, the ‘story of my life’ has proven to be a series of waiting seasons that irrefutably establish His faithfulness and grace.  In fact, it is not the story of my life – but His story through and in my life.

Immediately after my husband and I were married, we began to try to have children. However, we knew bearing children would prove difficult. My husband had been unable to conceive in a previous relationship, and the record of my infertility was medically documented quite extensively. However, I knew the miracles God had accomplished in my life. My Lord is a healer and restorer, and I believed He would give us a child without question. 

But, then, test after test was negative. 

My heart ached whenever I saw children who seemed ignored, neglected, or abused. I mourned in my spirit, confused by the God to whom I had given my life but who had not yet opened my womb. I grieved my barrenness. 

My pain proved too much for even my husband. 

The agony and depression following each negative pregnancy test eventually caused him to ban me from taking any more. After some time, our insurance finally approved assisted conception fertility treatments. We celebrated together, hoping this would produce the fruit we had been unable to. Yet, right before it was time to begin treatments, I felt the Lord asking me to wait on Him.

I did not understand. I certainly did not like it. My husband definitely didn’t like it. But, with a heavy heart, I obeyed.

One night, I stood alone at a window in front of our balcony with tear-stained cheeks. My heart breaking, I cried out to God for answers to his seeming disregard for my pain. I reminded Him of the life I had lived in the past and how I gave my life and heart to Christ and strived daily to live according to His will. Self-righteous, I questioned how those who disobeyed His will could conceive so quickly while I worked tirelessly in ministry and love but could not. I groaned. I moaned. I accused.

Within three short months, without the help of modern medicine, we were suddenly expecting our first child, a much-longed-for daughter. No one in my family expected me to have children, and if bells could have been rung, my family would have. But God was not finished. Within eight years, He blessed me with four more beautiful babies. 

Six healthy, rambunctious, loud children are in the Mullenix home today.

Dear Sister, be encouraged if you are in a waiting season right now.

There is no doubt that the waiting season can, at times, seem heartbreaking. The wounds of our circumstances can smolder intensely. We strain against being overwhelmed by our discontent, sorrow, fear, or maybe even anger. We worry that we might be overcome if the season doesn’t pass or we don’t hear from God.

We long for an intervention. We wrestle with whether or not He hears us and wonder whether He cares. If we have learned that He cares, we question whether His will for our lives includes the provision of what we seek. We struggle between submitting to His unknown will and walking in faith for what we desire. We ask, “What if our desire is not His will?” This inner turmoil can take its toll on our peace and joy until a breaking point occurs.

When we have wrestled and struggled until spiritual exhaustion, we reach the place of surrender. Here, we are finally willing to place the entire situation at the foot of the throne of grace. At last, we trust that no matter the outcome, He loves us and desires what is best for us and those around us. We stop wondering “when,” “why,” and “how” and move forward with the life we have been given as best we can, set firmly in the belief of His goodness, grace, and love. 

Once we have stopped fighting against Him, we are finally still and quiet enough to hear him whispering those things that He had been trying to speak into our lives and hearts all along. 

That we will not be overcome, nor will we drown. We will not be burned – because He is with us, always.

Because we have stopped wrestling with our circumstances, we have also stopped struggling against God. Worn, weary, and hurting, we cling to our loving Father with everything we have and, like Jacob, boldly declare, “I will not let go until You bless me.” 

And because He is faithful, He does.

Imagine if we never wrestled with God. Imagine if we just skipped to the end and surrendered – if we just clung and declared.

If you are in a waiting season, know that God is in it with you. Hold on to Him. Declare His glory, and praise Him because He’s working this season for your good. You may not see your breakthrough on the horizon, and that’s okay. The good news is that God does.

For further study: Romans 8:24-26, Psalm 25:2-4, Hebrews 4:16, Psalm 40:1, Isaiah 43:1-13

For prayer on today’s topic, visit Daily Hope & Prayer.